How to Bloom
A few years ago, during a difficult season of depression and anxiety, I decided to attend a concert by Christian artist Phil Wickham. I had mixed feelings about cramming into a crowded church, but I liked this artist, so I decided to give it a try. Up until the concert, I went back and forth about whether I would attend, but in the end, I found myself sitting in a wooden pew, hoping and praying that I wouldn’t experience another dreaded panic attack. Unfortunately, it wasn’t long before I began to experience the familiar shortness of breath, my body began to bead up with sweat, and I felt the sudden urge to get out of there! As I shuffled my way out of the row and down the center aisle towards the back of the church, the opening artist said something that made me stop in my tracks and turn around. It is something that I will never forget. Something I have shared dozens of times. While lightly strumming her acoustic guitar, light reflecting off the lacquered sunburst finish, she said the following: “when you find yourself in a place where you can’t trust your feelings, you have to trust those around you who love you.” For a few moments, I just stood there. It was as if time stood still, everyone else was motionless, and she was speaking directly to me. Tears began to flow from my tired eyes as I basked in the sun of this hopeful message. It didn’t happen overnight, but over time I learned the critical skill of trusting those who love me and using my voice to challenge my irrational thoughts.
In psychology, irrational thoughts are often referred to as cognitive distortions. Everyone experiences cognitive distortions, but people wrestling with anxiety often find themselves stuck in this form of negative thinking. These negative thought patterns cause us to exaggerate or inaccurately perceive reality in an unhealthy way. There are a dozen or more types of cognitive distortions, but over the years, I have found two that seem to be common among those who needlessly suffer, like I did, with depression and anxiety—catastrophizing and jumping to conclusions. I will discuss the second in a later post, but for this one, I want to focus on the one that plagued me the most… catastrophizing. Catastrophizing is rooted in fear and occurs when our negative thoughts are exaggerated. For example, your spouse is late coming home, and your immediate reaction is fear that they have been killed in a car accident. You get a headache and assume it's cancer. Your daughter yells at you, and you conclude it’s because you are a terrible parent. When we are anxious, we often find ourselves automatically imagining the worst-case scenarios. If we don’t trust those around us and use our voices to challenge these irrational thoughts, we can go down some pretty dark holes. We can ruminate on things like: I’m never going to get well, people would be better off without me, Jesus won't forgive what I’ve done, and many other lies. And that is good news…they are lies and nothing more! Statistically, 92% of what we fear never comes true! We waste a lot of energy catastrophizing things. We exhaust ourselves, fearing things that will never come to fruition. And one of the best ways to combat this cognitive distortion is by learning the critical skill of trusting those who love you and using your voice to challenge your irrational thoughts. And no one loves you more than Jesus Himself.
The Bible is full of advice when it comes to fear and anxiety. Dozens and dozens of times in the Bible, we are told not to fear. Additionally, the Apostle Paul tells us not to be anxious about anything, and the Apostle Peter tells us that we should cast all of our anxieties on God, because He cares for us. So, let me ask you a question. Do you think God would challenge us to do something we are incapable of doing? Do you think God would tell us to “fear not” if freedom from fear was impossible? Do you believe that the Apostles Paul and Peter are just playing some cruel joke when they tell us to give our anxieties to God? Of course not! Freedom from fear and anxiety is not just possible, it is a promise from someone who deeply loves you. The question you need to answer is, will you listen? Will you take God at His word? If the answer is yes, the next step is to use your voice to challenge those irrational thoughts. Say the truth out loud, over and over, until you believe it. Eventually, you will find that the lie you once believed will be pruned away, and the new truth will take root. And the more you spend time meditating on the truth, the more that truth will grow, someday blooming so that your fruit may bless others.